Foolish

The path to paradise begins in hell. – Dante (Inferno)

Just like they say; all hardships lead to success. I don’t know if I’ll be able to stand it.

Suppose that you are entering something that you are enthusiastic at the beginning and unsure at the next; feeling like an idiot among with your classmates either older or younger than you, having professors with expectations as high as the Empire State; and paperwork that flows endlessly like a river?

Ladies and gentlemen, this is the graduate school.

I knew I’ve been anticipating the workload (will eventually be heavier), but this is one event that I expected but came unprepared, same goes with my topsy-turvy adventure in adulthood. I literally feel stupid knowing that you have to hand a mountain of papers, report in front of your classmates (who is older/younger) and professors. In our orientation day, even the program head pushes us to think on our thesis topics and internship requirements – all in a space of a single damn day. I have been enthused at the idea of pursuing graduate studies, but then…

I don’t know if I’m doing the right thing anymore.

And it sucks knowing that you can’t do anything about it, except to man up and work hard. Sometimes I thought to better to hold my tongue than to rant or nark to my parents, since they would tell me that I entered in the first place and I don’t have to complain.

Really, I literally feel like Alice, maybe feeling a little bit more foolish in stumbling around rabbit holes.

Or I feel like Dante travelling through the seven circles of Hell just to reach Paradise, only I wished that there are/is Virgil/s with me in every step of the way.

This is what’s wrong with me. I like to explore my chosen field and unknowingly put myself into a dark place that had me stumbling around searching for the light.

Nevertheless, I still have another five semesters to earn my degree. Until then, I just have to be brave.

Hi! It’s been a while since I last posted something in here. Just to give a life update (since some of my acquaintances started to wonder what I’m doing at the moment – and I became evasive): I’m currently taking up my master’s degree from my alma mater. So much for loyalty. heh.

Well anyways, I wrote this as a cathartic writing, because work and school could be a fatal combination. Not that I minded haha but it’s crazy. But nonetheless, this serves as an intermission from writing either prose or poetry. I will try my best to come up with something other than rants hahaha

Until then, thanks for stopping by!

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