Fall in, fall out

It was a regular day for most people, milling about in the town square, moving on with their lives. But not for me. Staring blankly on the stream of people in a quiet corner of my favorite nook, I try to numb myself through false positivity, rationalizing myself that I could get over this.

You know the feeling of having a limb torn apart or missing a piece of a puzzle? That’s what I feel at the moment. I’m a mess, you know. A beautiful, marvelous mess.

Just then someone caught my empty gaze. Feeling embarrassed and dissed, I turned away. Just like the way he used to do to me when he catches me spacing out.

Even the simplest things like that hurts. Blinking, I stood up and gather my things as I realized that I’ve been there for almost an hour. I need another space to brood, so I forced my feet to trudge in the direction of the public park. I almost went home when all the couples in the world decided to come to the park and swarm like flies.

Rolling my eyes at my errant bitterness, I sought another quiet corner – this time with privacy – an empty bench with drooping wisteria blooms overhead. It was such a beautiful scenery, but I don’t have the heart to appreciate it at the moment.

For that heart of mine have been crashed a few days ago.

Think about it, I’ve been the one who asked to break it, but I’m still confused.  Maybe a little pang of regret swells in my mind, but I squashed it down. I stared hard overhead, not minding the subtle scrutiny of passers-by. I’ve been the one who asked for distance, he was the one who demanded for patience. For he believed that we’d still be together, and I believed that this is the beginning of the end.

I can’t believe myself because I’m feeling regretful for falling out of love with him. Yes, I still love him, but not enough to make him stay.

I know, he’s the best thing that’s ever happened, but I guess time and circumstances proved that we can’t be together. And I also would like to set my priorities straight. Because when I was with him I felt lost. Until to the extent that I don’t know what I am doing anymore.

Looking back, he was my exact juxtaposition, a grain of salt in my wound. The reason I smile, the reason I got mad, the reason I cry.

And now that he’s out of my life, I really like to forget him. But for now, I’ll just brood until it doesn’t hurt anymore.

Hi! This is one of the longest songfics I’ve written, and the first to have a first person POV. *grins* As you may have known, this was inspired by Birdy’s cover of Bon Iver’s “Skinny Love” and you know I’m a sucker for ballads, mellow music so I made my own take of the song. Please don’t kill me. By the way, I also apologize for the lack of appropriate title HAHA

I have another version of this songfic but I opted to post this one because the content is more appropriate for the lyrics than its twin HAHA I’ll try my best to write another of these babies bc I’m having fun writing them. In the meantime, I’ll post maybe random commentaries or poetry.

Anyways, thanks for stopping by! 🙂

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