I stumbled upon an old friend of mine whose story is worse than my own. I mean, sometimes I complain about my present job and the usual trash that is daily life, but I get blinded by the humdrum events in my life to the point of disillusionment.
Sometimes I have to remind myself that I have to lean back and take all those sh*ts I’m undergoing. Because one way or another I can’t escape it.
Sometimes I have to remember that I have to lean back and take all the burden/responsibilities that I have, because I’m getting older.
Sometimes I lean back and wonder: Do I have to take it all?
Do I have to be the one who fixes everything?
Do I have to be the responsible one?
Why do I have to pull myself together all the damn time?
Why do I have to say the word “I’m okay” even I know it’s not?
Why do I even bother?
It gets tiring, really. Sometimes the reason I’m taking it all because I’m tired. Tired of all the things happening. Tired of repercussions. Tired of people telling me to do this and not do that. Tired of people thinking that I’m being negative. Tired of saying ‘screw it’ and go head-on. Tired of pretending all is well – even for just a second.
I’m writing this for no reason. I just wanted to blow off the steam and put on another mask once this is done.